No Replacement For Displacement

I haven't forgotten the Axis of Weasels cards

I've just been a bit lazy. I'll put some cards up tonight.

Canada needs aircraft carriers to revamp military

Retired General Says Canada Needs a New Carrier

I really feel sorry for the Canadian armed forces. They have been woefully abandoned by Chretien and company, to the point that they have to go begging for transport and support services to put their troops in the field. Their Sea King helicopters have become nightmares due to their age and the lack of funding to properly maintain them. They haven't built/bought a blue-water vessel since the '80s, and they haven't refitted any of their major combatants, the Iroquois class destroyers, since the early 90's, and haven't deployed a major combatant since that time. When compared to the Australian Navy, the RCN comes up rather short in comparison, and Canada has twice Australia's GDP--so money isn't really an issue.

I read the goings on up north, and I have to wonder, just what the heck happened to the guys who fought all the way across Europe in WWII?

I wish I had my camera

I wish I had my camera with me yesterday. A woman was standing on the side of the road, with a sign saying "AM HUNGRY, WILL WORK FOR FOOD". While she is standing there, with this sign leaning up against her leg, she is casually counting out 20's. Obviously, this poor girl has been starving, unfed, and all the cruel people passing her by on the highway are cruelly throwing money at her. What heartless bastards!

uno, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seises!

I know, I've been real slow on the updates with my Axis of Weasel playing cards. Well, Mother's day was yesterday, and saturday, being the good son I am, spent the day planting flowers so Mom would have something nice to look at. Therefore, updates were a bit slow. Anyway, for today's installment is officially the last of the lower-ranking weasels. From this point on, they'll be a bit more well known, and much more weaselly. I also made another change to the list today. I had included Ralph Nader as a weasel, but not Pat Buchanan. Just because Pat's on the right doesn't make him less of a weasel. He was just as weaselly as Ralph, although he dresses a lot better. Ergo, they're now sharing a card. Call them the weasel twins.

Sinead O'Connor to Teach Religion

Sinead O'Connor to Teach Religion

In related news, Al Sharpton has announced he will teach a class on racial harmony, and Monica Lewinsky will be heading a symposium on the benefits of chastity.

Number Five is Alive!

Damn, I hated that movie. Unfortunately, that was the only thing I could come up with for a title for the latest installment of my Axis of Weasel playing cards. Also, I did something I promised myself I would not do, and that is change who would be on the cards after I started. I realized that I had made a major omission, and have now fixed it. I won't go into any more detail than that.

Also, I've noticed I'm getting a lot more hits from search engines these days. For those of you who are visiting, hang around, enjoy yourself, and have a good read. I've also started to get inquiries about selling these cards. If I get a lot of inquiries, I'll seriously consider it, but I know there some issues I need to hash out(mainly copywright stuff). For now, print 'em out and enjoy.

Anyone for Bridge? We've got a foursome!

First off, let me apologize for not posting the fours Sunday, like I promised. Also, let me also apologize for not posting it a few hours ago. However, this still counts as yesterday, since as far as my internal clock is concerned, it isn't tomorrow until I go to sleep. I know what you are thinking, what if I stay up all night, then go to bed. Well, in that case I've had a 48 hour day, then I go to bed and miraculously it's the day after tomorrow. If I'm up a week, then I've sort of teleported forward a week. I also will probably be hallucinating, but that's a story for another day. Anyway, on to today's weasels, the foursome. We've got Eric Alterman, Barbara Streisand, Al Gore and Gloria Steinem in today's group of Axis of Weasel cards. Al Gore didn't do too good in the rankings. I bet he was hoping he would get to be a face card.

Slapping the Donkey

In yesterday's debate, Al Sharpton said he would "Slap the Donkey." If I were him, I'd be careful about doing too much of that. I heard it makes you go blind.

Break out the Treys!

OK, now for my second group of Axis of Weasel playing cards. It includes Johnny "Quagmire" Apple, two has-been lefty writers, and one commentator who lost to cable access in the ratings war:

Update: Yes, the correct term is "trey" not "three". That way you don't confuse two 3s with three of a kind, which are known as "trips". What can I say, I'm a poker weenie.

Time to play cards!

Remember that new feature I was talking about last night? Well, it's here! Get ready, hold on to your hats, because for the next two weeks, you will see, for the first time anywhere, Axis of Weasel Playing Cards! Yes, now you too will be able to play poker with the likenesses of the world's greatest weasels on the cover, just so you can remember who were the ignorant, hateful f*cks who were willing to let millions of Iraqis suffer under Saddam. For the first teaser, take a look at the back:

OK, now here are some interesting tidbits about the list, and how it was created.

1. I picked 53 weasels to the best of my recollection and ranked them. The lowest ranking of the bunch would be removed from the list


2. I took the list of weasels, and ranked them subjectively according to the level of weaseliness, and their ability to entice other prospective weasels to their point of view.


3. The ranking was done by taking the list, and splitting it in half. In Computer Science terms, I did either a heapsort or binary sort on weaseliness.


4. The Ace of Spades is pretty much who you would expect it to be, but there are some surprises in the list.


5. Alec Baldwin didn't make it. He's the 53rd weasel.


6. Jean Chretien is not the highest ranking Canadian weasel.


7. Phil Donahue did make the list, but not by much.


8. No institutions are mentioned. Sorry BBC!

Some final notes. The ranking of cards is the same as is used in a poker game Spade, Heart, Diamond, Club. The deck has no joker(wildcards are for pansies!). There are probably dozens, if not hundreds of people I could have put in this list, and didn't, and doubtless, someone will remind me of that. Sorry. The list wasn't done by committee, and is now final.

OK, now that all the preliminaries are done, let me present to you, the first cards in the Axis of Weasels deck, the deuces:

Update: OK, now I've got the treys up. Other cards will be coming, four a day.

Update: I know I've been a bit slow on the updates, but the fours and the fives are now up. I'll be posting the sixes some time tomorrow night.

Update: Sixes are up now.

New Regular Feature

I am in the process of creating a new regular feature on the blog which I will be posting every day. I can't say what it is, yet, because if I do, I'll ruin the surprise. However, it is coming, so be on the lookout.

Foolish?

MR. T is suing Best Buy, because he says their ads "portrayal of Mr. T as a fool thus has the likelihood of injuring Mr. T's business reputation and of diluting the distinct quality of Mr. T's professional persona."

In this case, I pity the fool.